World Suicide Prevention day

Dear Friends:

Today is a VERY important day... it is World Suicide Prevention Day. As you know, I am a survivor of a suicide attempt. And, it is very recent. Because of that, I want to blog about this very important day, and hopefully it can help someone...whether it be someone who is at risk of attempting suicide, or if it is someone who knows someone who is at risk.

I was admitted to my first psych ward a few weeks ago. I despised the fact that I was there. I hated the locked doors, the isolated rooms, the gowns, the glassless mirrors... all of it. But, I loved the patients. The stories I heard were incredibly heart breaking. The things that people have endured is beyond terrible. But others had stories like mine... a happy childhood with events that were unforeseen. We were all so similar. We all had mental health issues, and these issues are as real as any physical disease out there.

There is an article on cnn.com today written by Melody Moezzi. She, too, is a survivor. She writes that the true sin of suicide is not the act itself, but rather, it is the insidious silence and insensitivity that surrounds so many of the most excruciating diseases of the mind that so often trigger suicide. Silence breeds shame and isolation.

I discovered while in the hospital that I am not the only "crazy" person out there. I am not alone. Because I am loved beyond words, I was protected and helped by my family and by my sister. I am now on medication that is proper and appropriate. I am in counseling and I have a support network.

Melody speaks the exact words that I would speak in describing my incident: "Entering the psychiatric ward, I felt cut off from the earth, drowning in a sea of despair. All the people I loved -- all the sane, strong and sturdy people who wanted to save me -- were stuck on steady shore. But getting to the hospital was like noticing all these other people drowning around me -- all within reach. It wasn't just me in the abyss anymore, and now that I knew I wasn't alone, I had a reason to tread water. Killing myself meant I couldn't save them. Killing myself meant killing them. Suddenly, I had no choice. I had to swim. So, I swam to save others, only to find, upon reaching the shore, that they had saved me."

Because I am who I am, I continue to tread water to save others... but in the process, I am saving myself. My family and my very, very close friends are still there with life jackets to pull me back in, if necessary... but so far, I am treading.

On this day, remember not to judge. Remember to love. Remember to support those who you can. Remember to be aware of your surroundings and to love those who cannot love themselves right now. And, if you are not able to tread water right now, there IS help and it CAN and WILL get better.