Rambling

Have you ever had one of those nights? The kind where you fall asleep with an almost-gone roll of toilet paper on your tummy and the clothes you wore all day still on? The kind where when you wake up in the morning, you can't open your eyes all the way, because they are so swollen? The kind where, when you go into public, people look at you and immediately ask if you're okay? The kind where your ten year old says he could hear you crying through his vent all night long?

I had one of those, if you hadn't guessed already.
It was last night.

It was rough.

I could feel it coming for the last week or so.

Should have let it come out then, rather than letting it build up to the point where I was pretty sure my ten year old would admit me to the mental hospital.
Probably wouldn't have been a bad idea.

Then, today. Today came. It came early. Nine o'clock church this year. I got myself ready. I got the kids ready. Grabbed primary lessons and talks and headed to church. I like it there. I feel love from all rows. Front to back. It's that kind of ward. Smiles from every direction. Winks here and there. Babies who smile when they see me. Except Graham of course. I don't hold it against him.

I heard the testimonies. It was one of those meetings. One of those fast and testimony meetings. Never know what you're going to hear in those! Today, it was exactly what I needed to hear. It was uplifting. Hopeful. Faithful. Happy. Loving. Real. I liked it today.

Listen people, I am no scholar. I don't read my scriptures everyday like I should. I don't do family prayer everyday like I should, although I am getting better. We watch football on Sundays. We sometimes go to the gas station on Sundays. We don't do everything right. But. But, I KNOW that I am a Child of God. I know that He knows who I am. Heidi. He knows me. Cool, eh? He loves me and He knows when I need Him, better than I do.

I am ready for the week, I think. Ready to go back to work. Ready to send my kids back to school after five weeks off. Ready to try this life thing again. Ready for whatever gets thrown at me. I hope. I just hope.