End of my rope

The last four days have been somewhat of a challenge, I would say.

Like, I have been on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Bet that would be fun to see!

Maybe I ought to sell tickets for front row seats to me having a full on nervous breakdown.

Might pay some bills.

Back to me, though...

For those of you who don't know, I haven't been in the best relationships throughout my life.

FYI.

They have had lasting effects on me. I know that I don't want to feel the way I feel, but I don't know how I want to feel, so when it comes to being in a "healthy" marriage with my husband, it doesn't always work out so well because I can't always answer his questions and I can't always tell him why I feel the way I feel because I don't know. I can't always tell him why I do what I do or say what I say because I have no idea.

All I can do is to tell him that I love him. That I know for sure.

Rough. Really, really rough.

Thursday night, I took Gunner to the animal hospital. Cried and cried. Bordatello was the diagnosis. Sick puppy dog. Medicine, money and tears.

Yesterday, I got six calls from the school in regards to Kaydon. All while I was at work. Not good calls, either. Really, really bad calls. He has an appointment tomorrow with the Pediatrician. Hopefully, we can get him some help, or get me some help, or both. I am all about sharing medication.

Just saying.

Last night, Braxton threw up quite a few times. He is a pro at throwing up, so after the first few times of comforting him, I pretty much left him to do it himself.

He woke up fine.

This morning, the school called again. It wasn't about Kaydon.

Miracle.

Colton had a fever and was throwing up. Left work, picked him up, medicated him, and me, and the dog, and watched Tom and Jerry for a few hours.

Picked up kids from school, found out about a fight at lunch recess and Jackson experiencing detention.

They ought to name the detention room after our family!

The doctor's tilted my pelvis back into place yesterday. That didn't feel good.

P.S.

My leg is numb, again, and my head is hurting.

Fun.

It could be worse. It could always be worse. Sometimes the rope seems to be gone. Nothing left to hold onto. The part that has been held onto for so long is frayed beyond repair. But, somehow if we can't the people around us find a way to tie another knot for us to hold onto.

I am blessed with those people in my life.