I live with boys

P.S., I live with boys. I live with quite a few boys. Boys are different than girls. Did you know that? They are. FYI. This is how I know:
1. They smell. They smell, their rooms smell, their hair smells, everything about boys smells.
2. They end up in the witness protection program at school because they saw someone get beat up by someone else.
3. They are loud... really, really loud. I have already contacted a hearing aid specialist for ME because I am losing my ability to hear small voices. Thanks a lot.
4. They use words like "nuts" - and they are aren't talking about almonds, people!
5. When I leave them alone for an hour, I am not concerned about them not being able to get out of the house if there is a fire, or letting a stranger in the house... no, I am concerned about them killing EACH OTHER.
6. When I lay down for an hour, they decide that we live inside of Chuck-a-rama and EVERYTHING edible in our house is a free-for-all. They eat and eat and eat and then we wonder why they don't eat their dinner. After explaining to them why this is NOT acceptable, they look at us, shrug their shoulders and say, "What?" in a very puzzled tone.
7. We own balls, and a lot of balls. Every kind of ball known to man, we own, or at least they have ended up at our house. Why do we need all of these balls???
8. It is somehow cool to NOT brush your teeth, or comb your mohawk, or change your socks, or your underwear, for that matter.
9. They dream of snow, of mud, of the messiest conditions possible to play in. Why? Because it's "funner and gooder Mom!" Awesome.
10. I live with boys and I love it. But it sure is nice when my girls are here and I am not as out-numbered.