Welcome to "The Club"

I have had to have a few tests done this week. My doctor, who cracks me up!, reminded me that at my age, I should only have to have a physical once every three years, but I sure have had one twice every year for the last three years. Oh Goodie! Well, yesterday I "got to" have quite the experience. I "got to" go in for an external and an INTERNAL ultra sound. Internal?!?! (WARNING: DO NOT allow children to read this next part!!!) Out came the dildo, all lathered up in KY jelly (that was warmed up). Mom, you might want to stop reading now! That's right folks, an 18 inch long dildo was handed to me and I was told to "get it started" on it's way up. "Are you kidding me?!?!" I said out LOUD. The girl just smiled politely. I didn't feel like being polite at this point. Then, the fun began. She poked it up there and prodded it up there and turned it up there and pushed it up there further and I just laid there pretending that I was asleep and this was all just a bad, bad dream. Except, I never woke up because it was REAL. UGH to the UGH! When she was done, she washed the dildo and then washed it more, then a little more all while I laid there on the bed with my dignity OUT THE DOOR! Who comes up with these things?! NOT A WOMAN!!!!! So, when I was done and arrived at work, a couple of ladies who have also experienced the dildo said to me, "Welcome to the dildo club, Heidi!!" Thanks, girls.